I'll still believe

Fri (10/9/2004)

Today , isn't just right ..... I feelin so upset n moody ... it has all got to do with the earlier incident in the start of the day .... Today is Fridae , my dad is always ain't in good mood on fridae coz he has to fast (vegetarian) as Friday is a prayer day to the Hindus .... I got into his temper in the start of the day.. All i did was to sit down to watch CAT N DOG cartoon on tv ... he came frm nowhere n switched the tv off , n then i went back to switch on the tv , he thought i was rebelin .... Gosh , i got into his nasty mood of the day n had to hear all the things tat i very most dreaded to hear just at the very moment .... His words were so piercin tat it pricked my healin disturbed soul ..... Now , my disturbed soul is further in pain coz its bleedin profusely ... Hmmmm .... izzit time up for me to leave tat is always comin into my mind , to leave the sufferings behind ??? It is gettin juz unbearable for me .... I tried to distract myself frm all e' tension tat was buildin in my emotions ... i started to clear my stuffz n do some filing up of my worksheets ... while doin so , i found a writin extract that i wrote ....

" Concealed in my own thoughts
Breaking away is my style
Yet I am hesistant to break free
You are holding me at a distant
Distance seems to be widening
Yet I try to pace myself
But I am failing
You keep on pacing further
Distance keeps on building
It seems you become the untouchables."

Hmmm .... i was wondering what made me write such an extract and under what conditions ....

Hiaz , I am feelin realli lousy today and all i wuld want for the rest of the day ... is to be out of the lousy feelin n rejoice in the spirit of God n his graciousness ... =D

Alritez .... the second half of the blog for the rest of the day..
I was still feelin lousy till the mid afternoon of the day ... till i din wanna stay on for a chat with any of my buddies .. But one particular contact who struck me , n made me stay on was no other than you , Shalini ... It was then i got reminded tat you promised a game with me today . I was game for the game after all the tension had being buildin up in my head , wanted a really desperate escape from the problems , i was facin at the moment .. I used the game as an desperate route to escapism from the situation ... Wow , we surely did play long ... till u mentioned me buddy tat we have being playin for 6 long hrs ... Hehehehe , all the close encounters , riskin myself being exposed sia =P But, I loved the thrill sia.

By the way , Cynthia finally came online today .... Hehhehe , tis girl scared a heck of me .... no hearings frm her since the begining of the week ... Hopefully , she was doin fine... and I heard from Dawn today also ... she has some suspense for me 2morrow , dunnoe wad she is up to sia ..Yea , tis sums up the day! =D

Thank You God for helpin me regain my composure and allowin me to seek refuge n strength in him ... Thank you God ! =D

threw her kisses ;3:44 PM