I'll still believe

Sometimes , I really wish people could be really frank with me . Maybe thats why I prefer being with children than adults. They are so innocent , they do not really process what they say, they just say whatever they think , and I think thats what I need. Not something that is processed and scanned , to give you the best answer. I do not really care whether I will be hurt or whatsoever. Afterall , truth does hurt at times. But life still goes on. I definately appreciate the truth.

threw her kisses ;10:26 PM

I do not quite get the idea of going stead equates to the idea of hugs and kisses. I am utterly disappointed with the shallow mindset of guys these days , the majority ; neverthless there are still some exceptional ones. Have we,girls become a sexual toy to guys for their outlet of raging hormones? I would rather they walk down the streets of geylang and pay the rice bowel of the other for the day , than toying with emotions and affairs of our hearts in the name of relationship.The term relationship has become so loose in today's society.There are no more fairytale endings , there are more of heartbreaks and heartaches. No more happily ever afters. Where have our values and morals have gone?

threw her kisses ;11:59 PM

CA posting is out. And I am in the first batch this time round. I'm super gald about the arrangement this time around as I would be three weeks straight into holidays before school reopens. And the period could be from 22 Sept onwards to 12 Oct. Atleast I can rest as much as I can before school reopens. Not like the previous attachment , coming back to school was tough. Because you are feeling deprived of rest and sleep. And this time round , I posted two weeks in KKWCH pediatrics and the other two weeks in IMH. Looking forward to next attachment. :)

And last night , I had a rather funny dream . I dreamt that I was in ward setting in IMH , and I had a patient who is mentally unstable and she could do the weirdest thing at any moment. And somewhat in my dream , she was discharged and was in the busstop with her relatives . And I just finished work and was returning to the busstop to take bus home . And then the relatives of the patient recongises that I am the patient's nurse , and then they come to me asking me to look after the patient while they go and grab a meal for their breakfast , and i trying explaining to them that I am off duty . But somewhat , I still end up with the patient in the busstop and the relatives left. And I start getting weird stares from the public or rather my patient gets the weirdest stare. And then somewhat in me , I wanted to guard and protect my patient , and then I taught my patient the lyrics to " You're beautiful by James Blunt." Just so , my patient can have an inflation of her self-esteem and not be bothered by the critic stares of the public. And my dream ended with "You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful it's true" ; said by me to my patient. I found the dream pretty amusing. Like so random .

threw her kisses ;8:16 PM

I just do not know why am I here. I just felt like writing something . And here I am . I feel not myself lately , I am trying so hard to fill something up which I can't fill , an emptiness deep within me and many surpressed emotions . And I am not ready to share with anyone till I get hold of it myself. And my memories with friends are becoming rather scarce.Maybe I am just over-reacting.I just do not know.

threw her kisses ;8:29 PM

Today was the first day of term 2 of semster 1 . There is pretty much of catching up to do this term and plus there are already many assignments that are piling up and I am just yet to address them. I need to direct my focus back to my studies. Last term , I must admit I have drifted my focus , to matters of heart and emotions . This term , I can't afford to do likewise. My grades have suffered much already. Though I have cleared my modules , they ain't satisfactory to me. They seem rather marginal to me , when I am sure I am able to produce better results with better attention and focus. Yeah.

And something I have learnt and realised through last term , I must be independent and wise. And not get worked up with people in their losses when it is my gain. Learn to be joyful and not grumpy and whinny. But this will take some time , and I will try. I do not want my days to be all grey and gloomy because of these. I must turn around the situation and make it into my favour. It's my gain and your loss. Sounds selfish and bad huh? But , I dun care much , all I can and give much care and concern its me. It doesn't mean i turned my back against the world and its all about me . Its just about time , I paid some attention to myself. I think I have far neglected myself , that sometimes reflection of myself seems less , but more of reflection of others in my life seems more. Yeah. I need to be fair.

Peace.

threw her kisses ;6:19 AM

As promised , I finally did something to my hair , like after so long . Im pretty satisfied with the outcome. :)

threw her kisses ;6:43 AM