I'll still believe

Sat (28/5/2005)

I seriously got some serious problem. I can't seem to love people of my own race. I have something really bad against them. I try many tymes to overcome the differences . Bt i really can't . It seems so in me. I really pray tat i can come away from these differences and learn to love the people.

threw her kisses ;10:57 PM

Fri (27/5/2005)

Today , was my school sports day ... Sports day wasn't bad as I expected it to be. It has improved so much from last year .. The House system is indeed a success .. However i think more effort has to be put into it for better reflection of sports day ! Aniwaez , I enjoyed it.. Maybe , it is just the group of people i was around that made me feel Sports Day was great! They shared the same enthusiasm as me .. All the cheering... G.A. R. N add the letters E and T .. whoooo haaaaa Garnet Garnet !!!
Hahaha ... Pom Pom , u really great at cheerleading... maybe you shld try leading a cheerleading grp , honestly.. hahaha.. This yr also I sat at the grandstand and watched the competitors race to the finishing line. I breathed the very breath as they raced to the finishing lines years ago . The sound of the gun-shot races my adrenaline and i remember the very words " Dun misjudge this horse ?" My bets are on her!" - he saw me at my best and he knew i had all tat takes to finish the race. I hoped every single moment , that i will touch the track and finish the race with glory ... I visioned myself in the race as i watched the athletes.. I admire athletes and i love them .. I love their passion , speed and rush of adrenaline.. I love the track especially the sprinting events and relay . I really hope i can back to the track . Need to train . Maybe nxt yr , if i gt chance.. Sports day was GRrrrrrrrrEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAT!

P.S : I got my permission to go for the camp ... Yippy!!!

threw her kisses ;8:35 PM

Thurs(26/5/2005)

Upset .. Upset.... I really wish i was just like other kids who dun say anything at home and have their way of doing things...Sumtymes, i really wish i had nothing to say .. I tell my parents everything tat happens ....But sumtymes they dun really understand . They think its just my way of doing things that i end up in this mess. I try to tell them its not wad i do bt they do .. They still dun seem to get it.. Maybe coz they think I am the same from the last tyme , speak my own way n get things to my own way, wanting things to follow my style. But I have changed. I watch from far and sigh!it just pains... it is not that i do nothing about it.. I make attempts bt im struggling.. Wad is worse was telling me tat i am not concerned abt my sis ... Please lor ... Ask my "friends" , they know how much i care about my sis and my sis even knows it... I love her even though i fight with her and all..She is afterall my sis and she is my family. Many times , wen I am down wad perks me up you , family . I am very thankful and grateful for coming into this family .. i gt a dad , whom can tok abt anything under the sky .. play ard with which includes getting hits and tied by me and my sis . Bt need to be catious wen we get overboard.. coz it means disclipline.. Truthfully , i think i deserved to b chided today . A mum , whom can be so warm and approachable ... that i can't keep anything from her ..i juz let my thoughts flow and speak it to her... Then a sis , my playing companion , my advisor , my doctor , my nurse , my punching bag ..... I just love my family... The love is so great ... We are yet so simple bt we are one big happy family! I am really greatful for this family!They keep me going and hold me back wen i moving too fast!

Thank you god for blessing with a GOOD FAMILY!

threw her kisses ;11:45 PM

Wed (25/5/2005)

The week had been simply great .. I wish i wuld re-live the the week ... Especially , monday , met up with all my stc khakis .. They are the best bunch of ppl.. hehehehe .. I think im the most corrupted in the brain sia .. I can't stop laffin over small things coz my imaginations are really wild... the outing at orchard was really superb..all the posin and stuffin was great .. The best was yet to come.. went over to kat's place to watch the holiday tamil movie with my khakis.. The movie was a flop .. i managed to crack the plot in the beginnin stage of the movie..I seriously think tamil movie shld really move away frm the lovey-dovey genre to something more .. Kat's niece is so cute... I luv babies... They are so adorable... The outing was great .. I enjoyed myself .. Thank you peeps for making the outing possible!

Tuesday , the day had being a real slow-moving one... Many were trying to adjust back to the day after a long weekend. I had to attend a fragrance chemistry practical at sp ... Made my own perfume... All the sniffing and smelling .. made my headache and my nose faintic... I am allergic to perfumes! After which .. went to grab a bite at long john sliver with sheryl .. while there at TB .. my eyes were searching for a glimpse of a familiar face.... I was gald tat i managed to spot a familiar face ... a fren frm stc... It was great seeing her .. It just re-kindled memories..

Today , the morning was so wet .. i just wished i was home.. I wuld nicely tug myself and laid in bed.. The day was really cold n wet .... Today , i was eagerly anticipating a sms from him ... but then i received none.. I felt tempted to send out one to him and scold him for forgetting his deal, but then I did not want to , coz it made me feel as if i am acting despo.. I shall patiently wait.. I shall take his words.. After, school , went IMM with suz n lirong . I have a camp in the june hols and i am not sure if i am able to go for the camp coz my parents aren't giving me the permission .. Bt i am really lookin forward to it.. its only gonna b a 3 day camp durin the 2nd week of june hols. I really hope i can go for it ... *prays hard*
Btw , need to start serious studying for my mid-yrs and need to plan my days well in june in order to have fruitful and maximise my tyme.

Thank you god for the deliverance of the days!

threw her kisses ;10:02 PM

Drats! I am down with a running nose and cough for almost a week .. I dun not seem to be recovering as quick as i thought.. My immune system is failing me.. Hahhaa.. partly my fault , haven't been avoiding those cold drinks and ice-cream and plus walking in the drizzle of the rain for the past two days.. I love walking in the rain. Hopefully , I will b back to health before my gathering wif my secondary schoolmates in the long weekend... I am really looking forward to it.. ;P

So far , things are manageable ... PW grping are out.. my worries are now put to rest.

threw her kisses ;11:22 PM

Its just getting too tiring and exhausting... I simply wish i had nothing to say .. I really hope he was around to help me through, i was much settled down with him around.. He was there to help me n now i am alone .. trying to stay away ..I simply wonder why he had to go and why i wasn't persuasive in asking my parents for the switch. Now its all me , struggling in an environment i dread . I used to think i was strong but i was proven wrong.. I am so weak .. I am easily influenced by my surroundings and the temptations around me... Everything seems so doubtful .. Im strugglin strugglin .. I really hope my secondary school friends were by my side.. they were so encouraging and they accepted me for whom i was .. All the more , i can't wait for the upcoming gathering with you guys... I miss you guys , really badly .. I need you guys really badly to move on .. I am so weak .. The situation is just so bad .. People are hitting me hard right at my emotions which is great struggle for me..

Anger rages but love pours abundantly!
Thank you for the abundance of love!

threw her kisses ;5:35 PM

God is good all the time,
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine
God is good all the time,
Through the darkest night, His light will shine
God is good, God is good all the time

If you're walking through the valley,
And there are shadows all around,
Do not fear, He will guide you,
He will keep you safe and sound,
He has promised to never leave you,
Nor forsake you, And his Word is true

We were sinners so unworthy,
Still for us He chose to die
Filled us with His Holy Spirit,
Now we can stand and testify
That His love is everlasting,
And his mercies, they will never end

Though I may not understand
All the plans You have for me,
My life is in Your hands
And through the eyes of faith,
I can clearly see

threw her kisses ;10:41 PM