I'll still believe

He asked if I was fine ....??? A second i stopped. Am I fine???? But I replied i was and walked past him with a smile.

threw her kisses ;11:01 PM

Are sometimes are your worries are such? Or you plan till your week seems so packed and unconvectional? Think n ponder???

threw her kisses ;9:31 PM

Phew! Mid yrs are finally over. Mugging for papers the day before, it was really so last-minute. I know if i will be doing badly it all got to do with my procasination and my laziness . It is end of one examination bt i am setting my sight towards the other now and start working on it consistently . I dun want to be blaming myself laters. Sacrifice now n enjoy laters. I dun want to be worrying over nothing . I will have to plough first and enjoy my harvest laters. Sorry for this time around. I promise to be working towards the other with zeal and passion as I know studies is one area i want to serve GOD. I have to work out a study plan by end of this week so i can start on my studying plan soon. I pray for myself as i prepare my study plan i will be disclipined and motivated to accomplish my study plans. Lord, keep me going n growing .

threw her kisses ;12:16 PM

Phew! Mid-yrs are finally over! It was really disasterous... I got noone to be blamed except for myself. I am such a let down . Hiaz , I will b studying nw .. To make up for all .. People continue to put ya hopes onto me! I will prove it! I will soar .. It is the beginning for the OTHER! Cheer me on ....!!!! I will update all other crapz.. soon .. Little tired... Imagine sitting for two papers with 1 hr of sleep ! I am brain-dead!

threw her kisses ;10:08 AM

Sat (9/7/2005)

Today , was really a struggle as I even want 2 plan my time and day... esp wen i know i got quite alot of studying to do... It was my test, i suppose... I was thinkin thru of all ways 2 maximise my tyme even 2 skip fdn n yf... Bt I wanted to go for fdn...so i thought of gng 4 fdn only n laterz leave immediately.. Bt I knew i had 2 search my heart n seek God n I was very much reminded 2 honour God and b trusting Him in my provision of needs n also 2 obey Him.... I was really challenged over e' decision I had 2 take.. I was only freaking out on how little tyme I had 2 complete revision and getting decent grades and meetin 2 e'expectation of ppl... I left God out of pic even though i was tellin myself , studies is one area i want to b serving.. It all boiled down 2 b having good intentions .. So I was very much hidden in my ego-centri living. But, I was thankful I had choose to go for my fdn and yf. Even though , I did go in with a whole-heart because i was very much choked in my worries on my revision . Bt I was thankful i had choose to go . Today , during yf .. we had ebs training to equip us for e' musicale to reach out to interested friends for thristing and durin fdn with looked into fellowship , we understood fellowship is not optional and what divides is enmity which can come because of our differences in values , backgrounds and interests . I found this quite true esp wen i look around , i tend to stick with ppl i feel comfortable and share the same interest or values. Bt we r very much reminded we should overcome the barrier and be united in the common goal of God's grace and salvation. GC challeneged us further even now as we are gonna have change in QCP , what will our reactions be ? It will be the relevation of our understanding of fellowship.I am really thankful for the day as i choose to honour God and have a good time of hearing Him speak to me. Yeah! I also got prayed for by my QCP . Encouragements to soar my spirit! I will continue to abide and trust in Him .

Back to studying..... Study! Study! Study!

P.S : Sorry for venting my anger unto you and those blows unto ya ! Sorry! I was stressed.. srry ya ! Emotional creature is ME...

threw her kisses ;10:21 PM

Wed (6/7/2005)

I picked my fone .. I called her .. the phone rang continuously for awhile bt shortly I was greeted with a cheery voice of Shalini . Yups! She is in Singapore! It feels so great to have her in Singapore. Hahahaa .. Now she is only away in the pick of a receiver. I am gonna bug her for the next 2wks .. She is in Singapore!!!! Excitement!!! Can't wait to see her in person ... Soon ya... Yups! Oh yeah! The 2012 bidding results for olympics is out , LONDON won! I am happy coz the place the LOndon will be using to host will be very much near my grandparents place in London... provided i can save by then I can travel all the way to LOndon coz my grandparents and his children are there. So the chances of going are really high ! Need to save ... start saving... anyone wanna sponsor me ? Tatta , i will be a good girl and good granddaughter , only if you can sponsor me go ... Hahahahaa.... Throwing tantrums .....

Btw , today was my GCE A level , MT oral ... Overall the oral was okai , i suppose . Even though , i screwed up my reading with misprounications and hesistations to read further wen i am stuck with words i can't read . It was alright i guess. Surprisingly , for convo: what are the measures taken by the Govt. to counter-problem decreasing population , i just speak on and on... No prompting from teacher at all .. Good ah? It is an answered prayer. Thank God.

threw her kisses ;8:48 PM

Yay!!!! I studied ... Studying is so good...... I am finally enjoy studying ... Okies , for now on gonna have a postive approach to studying. It relaxs my mind over many unwanted thoughts and worries... I am gonna study .. Study.. study ... Gonna be proud of myself at the end of the day .. Studying is good , ppl .. I like to study study .. STUDY!!!!!!! Hahaha .. I am so happy .. My bestie is coming back to home... I can't wait to see her manz.. Bt sadly , i will b meeting her only after my exams .. sad bt sure fun .. A fun way to release all the exam stress away with her .. Gonna tok everything under the sky and gonna create chaos with her .. lolz .. Must take plenty of pics okies?? So I can put all of them up in my album.. I can't believe it , is it me who is asking to take pics??? I hate taking pics of myself... Bt now i enjoy! Its fun! I now forgot all i wanted to blog.... Too much excitement .. I better b concentrating and remain focus. Oh yeah ... I think i can't control my speech .. Need to plaster my mouth! Pray for me in regards to my speech. Tks

threw her kisses ;10:39 PM

Mon (4/7/2005)

Today is youth day ... Yay! Long weekend... I really love having holidays . Hahaha especially wen I am really laggin behind my revision schedule, can finally sit down to do some revision . I am quite proud of myself managed to cover abit in the day .. Now taking a little break ... Hahaha actually kinda distracted .. so taking a break before I continue. I was little worked out n angry in the morning coz my dad kept on picking on me , when my sister was the one who was irritating him. I get scolded coz of her .. I feel so picked on .. coz he always so quick to call out my name and plus i get labelled as the most trouble-maker at home .. Please lor.. Hiaz.. I dunnoe .. I feel so picked on .. I feel so angry wen the fault isn't mine . Hahahha .. wen i write this entry .. I get reminded of one person who also took punishment over our wrong doings willing. He din't complain bt yet I am complaining.. Sad lor. Bt I can't tolerate to get punished for sumthing that i din't do .. It is just so unfair. Sianz.. enuff of complaining. A moment ago , i went down to post the answer to the NDP contest . Hopefully , can win .. dun win also can la. Bt i thought it would be great to win , coz the last tyme i went with my family , it was so good . The feel was great, i got too enthu that i even broke the clappers.Hahahaha.... Okies.. need to get back to studying.... Oh yeah .. before going off... today i actually wanted to play "school" coz my dad wasn't aware of school .. so pretended to oversleep .. my mum n sis also played along.. very funny .. my dad kept on waking my mum up .. my mum continued to sleep ... maybe she was really sleeping bt i woke up and chuckled to myself.. Hahha... laterz , he gave up .. I think he finally realized it was holiday... Lolz... Okies... Back to Studying...

threw her kisses ;5:08 PM

threw her kisses ;9:33 PM

My Messy Messy Desk ... even the flower had bent...

The light beams through the opening ... The aircon is missing... Hot Hot Hot...

My mum and myself.... Myself acting crazee...

Another pic of me trying to pose... I can't smile... So serious...

threw her kisses ;2:37 PM

Sun (3/7/2005)

Hmmm... studying can be really tough ... I detest studying esp for really long hours... The brain can really tire out n cramped with many things... Sumtymes , I find myself saying " Take a break" it has been really long.. bt then sumtymes I wonder whether these are some excuses i give myself to comfort myself and please my egocentri self. I know especially during exam times , i shld really press on ... Bt yet i find myself taking really long long breaks... Pls dun tell me to relax ... I have been really relaxing... Its now really time to study and press on till mid-yr exams are over.. After my mid-yr exams are over , I need to be consistent in my daily revision. Shalini , thanks alot.. I was really struggling over many things... Thanks alot , girl for lending a listening ear . Ma , Pa .. I m really sorry for betraying your trust you had in me . I believe as times go by , you will understand my decision and pray that God will strengthen me through the days, so I can be strong.
I really worried over my life esp when I look at the years beyond me.. I m really worried for my future. I m not copin really well in school. I am so useless.. failing over n over again . Bt it is nt tat i m stoopid bt I ain't studying. I lack the motivation to study .. I firstly hate my school .. I regret going there. I hate my class... too many conspiracies ... the teachers... are only making matters worse... Everyday , i come home , with so many complains.. I hope by complaining , i will get all the comfort i want .. bt always my mum puts it .. you choose to go there .. so study and get out ... dun disappoint us and dun let others talk back ...dad is spending so much money: school fees , pocket money , tuition fees.. so dun waste his money and dun waste your life. Everytime , wen she speaks to me in regards to this , she gets emotional.. she cries.. When she cries, I feel even so bad within me, I very much want to study and make them proud. Bt it doesn't really stay long within me the fighting spirit. I enter school , my spirit really dies off. The worries really chokes me. Bt i really got to study ... I know within me I am bright .. I got my potential. I want to tap on my potential .. I dun want to push away my potential and waste away my life. I pray for myself to be dilligent and disclipine in my studies and also for courage and wisdom .

threw her kisses ;1:15 PM