I'll still believe

I am so lost in understanding him. Like one moment, he is nice and concern and the other moment he is cold. And how am I suppose to understand him ? I feel so clueless and I so hate the feeling . It just so upsetting when I am so unsure myself . And I have no understanding of him and his actions.

threw her kisses ;7:54 PM

Like finally , I went for yf today . Even then , I was hesistating to go because the weather was just nice to snuggle up in bed and sleep. But then I had to go out no matter becuase I was meeting zet and yap , to catch the best bargain deals in ICON. But sadly , there won't any baragains that I was hoping for. And one thing good that I got my buckeroos from the tuition thingy today , and that somewhat gave me a reason to shop without feeling much guilty. Bought two dress tops. Quite satisfied with my purchases , and seems like I have gotten much attention about my recent shopping habit. Am I suffering from somewhat shopping disorder? I caught the attention of the wording " Shopping cures Depression!" Am I suferring from it? Tell me , I am not. It just normal to shop . Its afterall a girls thing !`

threw her kisses ;11:53 PM

Pictures that speaks millions of joy !` (:

The Pretty Girls!`

The Forces of Ying & Yang ! `

Pretty Girl with the Twist !`

Pretty Girl with the Wanton!`

The Weapons!`

Homey meets Ah Pek!`

threw her kisses ;10:54 AM

Today , it was super shitty during CITS period . It was presentation round for the first three groups. And my group was scheduled for presentation only for the following week. And we were the second last group to be presenting for the project.

And supposedly everything changed today , when we walked in today to watch the first three groups present. The first group wasn't ready to present , they had so-called technical problem , and the second group wasn't prepared for presentation. And only the third group had presented their project. The stupid idiotic group two , never admit earlier that they are the group to present today and the cits teacher , insisted it was my group to present today , as she said that its the postioning she had copied down. But it wasn't . Then I was explaining it to her , and she was like super adamant that she was right.I cannot stand it , when people simply just refuse to admit their mistake . Its not that I like to argue , but I just want to voice out what is rightful to me. It is not that I am irresponsible and never own up when it is my project due , because it ain't today. And I knew it well. And she can still tell us off that its not about postioning but the readiness. If that was her point , she should have made it clear on the week earlier , that she wants all the groups to be prepared by this week for presentation but she never did. Making points heard in the last minute , is pointless because nothing much can be done. And holding unreasonable anger on us for something which we can accomplish because of the poor communication is just so dumb. Sometimes , I just wish authorities will learn to listen and not hear. I am throwing back the knowledge to you.

I'm sorry if i am sounding rude. I just feel my group was treated unfairly.

threw her kisses ;10:19 PM

Today , morning I woke up planning to go bugis with Nad , as she wanted to get her collegue a gift and I wanted to get my sis her pressie . But last minute , Nad had cancelled the morning with me , as she was expected to attend some training at work. And then , I decided to spend the morning doing up my reflective journal which due for submission tomorrow. I was so lost in what to write in the reflective journal , because nothing big happened in the clinical attachment. Somehow , I managed to come up with something. And later , I rung up Suz to ask her out , but then she was busy with schoolwork and I tried my luck with Sam again . She was free after 4 pm. I though it was still alright and made arrangements to meet her in PS to go over to creative to get my sis her pressie. Sadly , the stock is out. And need to wait till next week. And we walked over to Far East , for my hair cut. Yes! I had my hair chopped off. First tyme , I am satisfied with my haircut and I made a price for it also. :) And we had our cheesy dinner. So bloated and full now!` Gd nyte!`

threw her kisses ;10:41 PM

Today , i thought I could go and get my sis her birthday pressie. I had made arrangements to meet Sammie in town. I met her in town and we went looking for her pressie.

And in between , received a call from my mum asking me to come home because my sis wasn't feeling well and she was having pains , and wanted to bring her to the hospital and wanted me to accompany her go. And I had to leave Sammie halfway , and cab home. Sorry about it , sammie!

Upon reaching home , waited for my sis to change and then cabbed to Changi General Hospital , A&E . Then reaching there , her temperature was taken and then was examined by the nurse there , and after which the doctor examined. Luckily no complication , just that her tonsilitis was swollen and she had chest pain due to musclosketal strain, likely to due to her kayaking few days ago. And dad joined us shortly there at CGH. And sis was prescribed to some medication and now she is sound sleeping. Rest well , yeah! Love ya lots! Recover soon!

A big birthday bash is awaiting you !`

And I got to get back to my reflective journal now!`

threw her kisses ;8:45 PM

School is getting crappier each day. The damn projects seems endless. Every module there is project. And projects are damn pain in the ass. Its like eating up most of my time and it seems like I am doing so much for it and yet the others are taking a sit .

Like today , was PAS presentation (psychology) , my group consisted of 5 members including myself and then only 3 members turned up for presentation and the other two members , one has chickenpox and other just MIA . And , like no choice , we had to say their contribution to the project was none or little as 10%. But it has to be fair to us also ryte! And for the project we are just graded B+. Am i satisfied?

And now still left with CITS , PAS (sociology) , CNP and
FON (casestudy) presentation. And exam timetable is out . Exams is like officially starting in Week 16. And Week 14 just ended this week. Oh my god! I am just so short of time. I can't help to just complain in how busy and stretched , I am.

Oh my ! And some group memebers just need to be told off . But I am still calm. Just dun push your limits ! And god damn get ya ass moving in the project and stop waiting for being told on what to do . Its your project , its not only mine , so take the god damn initiative in the project. Dun just sit there and wait for things to fall from above . And just simply thank at the end of the day . Because it will not work this time around , because I had enough of doing things and sharing the credit for it. Its so unfair , especially when we are hard-pressed for time. And dun just stop at asking on the progess of the project , do something about it. Because everyone can ask . But it just stops there . Eventually,someone got to put it all together . So ask and do! Dun stop at asking , because it means nothing at all. Its similar to no contribution. Sink this idea deep into your head! And if you have no interest on the module , can you just go inform the teacher and excuse yourself from the group project . It will be kind of you , because you are hindering the progress of the project . Atleast , we can maximise our time on the project rather than wasting our time on you . Yeah. Take note of all have been said. I just had enough. I am not targetting at any indidvidual but if it reflects your own . Please be fair to me ! Thanks.

threw her kisses ;11:38 PM

Today , during FON lecture , Ms Shree had to call out my name just because I wasn't paying attention and was talking to my friends. Oh my god! She like knows my name. It was pretty embrassing though , in the odds of 100 plus students in a lecture room . Next time , I could have to pay attention no matter how boring the lecture is , just because she knows me already and I have an expectation . And plus , i need to disclipline myself and attend all lectures . And my commitment to GL must be there. I mustn't have second thoughts . I wanted it and I got it. So I should all the more respect and diligently attend to whatever I am assigned to. Nages! You have to , do not let the crowd influence you but influence the crowd. Yeah. And for goodness sake , be in the switch on mood for lectures as of always !` My grades need to be maintained.

threw her kisses ;9:53 PM

Hi . I am a delighted little kid. I have finally gotten my donuts from donut factory. I have been waiting really long for it like since the last time I had gone to queue with Sammie. And today , we just did that. Sammie met me in school after my lesson to go queue for donuts.

Why today? Because my friend from my class had brought her donuts to school from donuts factory . And I was so tempted to have my share of the donuts. And this whole donut thingy was just making me crazy!` It is just so irresistable. We queued for solid 2 hours . But never felt the time , waiting. We happily shared a pint of ben & jerry , Dublin Mudslide , till we got really enough of it , while queuing in the queue for the donuts. An ultimate sinful sin!` Imagine with the oh-so yummlicious donuts to top it up later . Sinful , i tell!` What can we do , good things are hard to resist !`

Anyway . dear friends , I have not forgotten you guys. I kept my promise. I got you guys the flavours I think its the nicest. I will bring over to school tml . We can feast together , yeah!

( The above picture is the donuts , i have gotten for you guys!`) Flavours include : strawberry heart white chocolate , orange white chocolate, double chocolate, spicy cheese , strawberry white chocolate

And , oh - so - happy , PAS tutorial was cancelled today and postponed to Friday . So yet to present for PAS presentation . Just a breather , i need! `

Thank you , Sammie!`

threw her kisses ;9:30 PM

I do not know why I keep coming back with this feeling for you. I thought i was over with it. But somehow the feeling deep within never did pass away. Maybe I am just needing more time. The voidness is really making me go upset. I wish I just had you . But no regrets. I am doing fine . But just sumtymes , the " what if" is just so strong. I can't believe I'm breaking down again when i think about it. I thought I had no more tears but deep within me there are for you. It means I really love you still. (:

Project is killing me and those around me. It seems like times are back like those in MI , where everyone begins hating everything. Projectwork was a total shit back in MI. Just hoping the shit doesn't happen again. But projectwork never fails to being the shit back again. Sianz.

Happier note , I am still calm. :)

threw her kisses ;11:53 PM

Today , I was super mad with my friend in school. Like because today , the school had the ful exercise and we were suppose to wear our lanyard and take temperature. And my friend never inform the my whole group when she was suppose to pass the message . Like wad the ! Then when I asked why not , then she can just say that she thought we knew . And say it doesn't matter anyway. Okies! Not much though. First episode ended. and then later during NSL lesson , the teacher asked us where is our lanyard and the temperature sticker. And since we din't have it , she began giving one whole lot of lecture , on how much of inconvenience and defiance . Like the what the ! I can't be bothered already. Then the second episode , the submission of the CA journal. I wasn't even informed and then the stupid idoit kept insisting it was already announced yesterday. Tell me was it my fault , when majority did not know! Wow!` And my dear friend knew , and she never said. Thanks. And can be scarstic with her comment " communication breakdown la!" . What the hell! I hate it ! Blaming onto communication when the fault lies in you! Thanks ! I will just need to hear for myself next tyme and assume you guys know it.

threw her kisses ;8:11 PM

I so need to stop my shopping spree! I am somewhat addicted to shopping. And the sale is just making me go wild and make me shop more. Tell the dumb me , the sale is a gimmick in getting people to increase the sales and the economy . And the poor me not to fall for it! Goodness! Tell me , I have enough clothes and do not need to keep topping up my clothes every few days , that I can afford to use whatever I am with. Yeah. Shopping makes my buckeroos disappear . And gets me into depression because it makes me broke!` And plus , I have an ugly bank account. Oh my! Stop me before the addiction becomes me . The shopping monster. Oh lala!`

threw her kisses ;9:50 PM

Attachment is finally over!` It wasn't that frightening. It was kind of fun!Though some of my friends may choose to defer from me. They found the attachment , a total bore because we couldn't do much , but just observe.

But I think I learnt a fair bit in just observing. Even we just observed , there were little nitty gritty things we did not take note because today during NSL lesson , our tutor asked us and yet we did not know because we had failed to observe. Observation is a skill and a very tactful one . So dun think , just observe can already but look into it carefully. Yeah. And some of my friends are getting paid for it . And I dun. Its like so unfair. Just that they get posted to the right place and I dun. Sighz. So unfair!`

Though I was excited about going back school today but the amount of workload waiting is like 'WOW' and the deadline is on Mon. Need to manage my time well . I am so dreading it !` There is no breather after the term break. Eeks.

And I have gotten back , all my common test results. I fared pretty well for it. Pretty satisfied !` But need to work harder for the next , now that I am sponsored student , need to shoulder the responsibility of a sponsored student.

I got to get back on track , and work my ass off this week , to clear the workload piling up on my desk.

Goodnight.

threw her kisses ;6:17 AM

Yesterday , went out with mommie and sissie to Tampines. Just wanted to go walk walk . But the place was super crowded . So many shops were having last day of sales as of today , the 2% GST hike starts. And so many were trying to do as much as possible of shopping before the hike takes effect. Sounds madness to me atleast!` Their reaction seems really big . So we couldn't do much shopping yesterday because of the crowd . I dislike crowded places .So, we just walk walk. And then , i got mommie her shades. Hope she like the shades! Now , she need not complain to me the sun is too glaring. Lol.

Tml , is the second week of attachment at Polyclinic. I want the week to go by fast . I can't wait to start school . Attachment is fun!` But just i want to go back school. It seems much more fun!` And school is going to be more exciting , with my friends nearby in SIM. Yeah. Just can't wait and I want to go shopping.:)

threw her kisses ;8:23 PM