I'll still believe

I'm freaking tired of being there for people , and hearing people . It's like when I need one , I can't even find any , maybe I did not ask you may say , I actually tried asking , but somehow my asking wasn't good for you to pay attention and listen. I feel so miserable to be there for my own self. I know I am independent and whatever shit . But sometimes , I too want the someone , need not be a boyfriend but a friend would be great.

I'm in one of my lousiest mood now. And, so please pardon me for my post .

threw her kisses ;4:55 AM

Year 3 . It's day two being a Year 3 student. Nothing much as changed thus far . But lecturers keep stressing we are Year 3s and we will be graduating soon , and the PRCP posting. Like pretty scary with all the dates and months as they are just around the corner.

And year 3 brings back much memories back to Year 1 , first day at nursing skills labatory lesson in Year 1 , we learnt medical handwash , and now in Year 3 , we progressed much to Operating Theatre handwashing. Impressive eh? Year 3 , now is focusing much on Operating theatre skills , as a scrub nurse. I'm frightful of operating theatre as I feel that I am such a klutz at times , and my previous observation at NUH OT setting did not provide much an encouragement neither. But neverthless , I feel inspired and encouraged by my lecturer as she shares on her clinical experiences in clinical setting . I feel that true dedication , hard work and mistakes really brings you to greater satisfication of the profession Nursing. I feel so convicted again. :)

And on sidetrack , I do not quite like my new lecture group . The group is really big and the subjects are delivered are really bore especially Work Professional Development and Nursing Mangement. Like too much of theory . I love NSL 3.1 and NS5 tutorial for now.

threw her kisses ;4:45 AM

I'm feeling totally crappy now. Dad feels I'm losing my direction , am I really losing my direction ? Maybe I do so , especially in school , not focusing much and producing the grades I used to score in the first few terms. I really have to work harder now , and I can start feeling the responsibility and seriousness especially when I entering to Year3 , because I am graduating soon in exact 12 months. But my passion for nursing is still there , thats good to keep me going. (:

And I'm feeling irritated with extended family , I find they are really cunning and manipulative people , just know how to make use of people and chuck them aside till the next moment when they need a favour. I know its common , but then I just feel its really unfair , and why should we give in to such treatment as if we are debted to them . Sometimes , I wish Dad would be strict about the respect he gets , I feel sad for Dad because of them. I know Dad is too good and he is trying hard to keep the family ties and all , but sometimes I just feel he is going out too much and the rest are doing nothing much. So like why bother then , I know we are family but its a pity because we are only thinking like that and they are thinking otherwise. And dad , should just stay true to the words when he tells us , we four (dad , mum , sis and me ) are family. I feel much better and happier. And , I have nothing against with my grandparents both maternal and paternal and my aunt, Kunavathi. I'm pretty comfortable with them in my extended family and fullstop.

I feel irritated with money issues ,extended family , friends and my weak self. I wish I was stronger and wiser now, and even more independent.

threw her kisses ;9:05 AM

Today , met up with the girlfriends. While shopping , my girlfriend decipered my shopping style , so lately I am badly in love with poka dots , and from there she derived I like perfection , as the dots have to be of similar size and spacing . And poka dots is associated with retro and old-school , so it suggests I longing to go back past and dots are circles which suggesting continuity. And so irony . Past and continuity. I find it pretty amusing though , like my shopping style also can suggests my desires and thoughts . Pretty cool , stuff eh.

threw her kisses ;8:37 AM

I shall take a break from the Hongkong trip post. I post something esle for today.

Today , I went back to church , like after many months of not going , I was just too caught up with school and personal life . I was previously apprehensive and uncomfortable and uneasy of going back today , but I just knew I had to go back , and today was special , it was Easter Sunday , where Jesus Christ was rescurrected from the dead . So it was really special , and I wanted to redirect back my focus and life back unto Him. I felt voidness when I am really on my own and far away from Him. So I felt I wanted to commit back unto HIM and it was the right decision I made today . I felt so in peace within me like finally in months . I'm so happy today (:

threw her kisses ;7:40 AM

Day 3 Hongkong , 1 April

Today I woke up at 0600hr , since we were asked to report later to the lobby. Haha. No scary encounter this morning. I was feeling super shagged still after shower but at the same time super excited over going Causeway Bay. My friend, Pammy told me that there is plenty of departmental stores like H&M where can find clothes similar to Topshop. So I was really looking forward to it.

At O720 , gathered for breakfast at the hotel , today no waffles , sadsad. But had hashbrowns , super crsipy and yummy . Haha . Carbohydrates! And our first destination for the day, Hongkong Adventist Hospital . Its a private hospital , and my group was supposed to do a project on this hospital , so I was trying my best to be attentive to get some information for my presentation . Private hospital and non-profit organisation need not say , quality is number one. Their toilet roll is damn shiok , got embedded prints on it and its super soft . Haha. So funny , you may think go hospital , and compare the toilet roll , but thats what I get to use when I went to their toilets. Rofl. And its the only hospital that gave us sovenior , a sticky pad. We were briefed in the first hour and later was brought on tour around the hospital , very clean and organised not in comparision to the government hospitals of Hongkong. As it said it focuses on quality than quanity. And next photograph session. And we are done with hospital visit for the day.

And next stop , shopping at Causeway bay! We were alighted opposite of Timesquare. And we had to crossover and walk to Causeway Bay. We went into Timessquare to explore , Timesquare is the high-end shopping mall , and from there we exited and tried to navigate our way to Causeway Bay , and there were too many transit shopping along the way. Rofl. And once we were near SASA , we witnessed a injured old granny bleeding profusely at the back of her head, and we were all nurses there but we did nothing but just watch as the crowd attending to her were doing the right stuff by applying pressure to stop the bleeding , and plus we are not licensed nurses and its foregin place , so we just did not want to take any risk on our part , and soon enough the ambulance arrived , and the paramedics were really efficient , they cleaned the wound , worked on dressing the wound , and the granny was calm and cooperative through the entire procedure even she could give a graditude wave to the passer-by who helped her. Impressive much. And we continued navigating our way to causeway bay , we were pretty lost and we couldn't find it. And nearby , and we went into Jardin Bazzar , a street shopping style , not very much similar to the Fa yuen street or Ladies Market, the choice of stuff were not our taste really . And by then we were pretty tired of navigating , and just wanted to sit for meal and look at the map again , and along the way , we shopped the stretch of shops , and after the meal , we shopped alittle while longer there, and decided to return back to the previous day shopping place as we found it unproductive there. I was little disappointed because wouldn't find the H&M store which Pammy told me that I must go there and shop. But neverthless , did not matter much , I shopped a fair bit at the previous day place too. So its' good.

So , we went to the Causeway Bay MTR station to board the train to Mongkok MTR station. It was our first time there taking the MTR. The MTR station is almost similar to our Singapore's MRT station . I think our transporation is adapted from their transportation system. And once , we reached Mongkok , we walked back the streets we walked yesterday and shopped along. And we met up after 2 hours of shopping for dinner at some claypot place. After eating at the claypot place , my immediate reaction was tummyache. I guess I ate something wrong. My stomach is pretty weak. And, finding a toilet there is really a miracle . Shopping centres do not have toilet at every level unlike Singapore.

And , because of that I had to rush some of my friends to go back hotel with me . And, sad counldn't shop in the Espirt outlet , saw a quite of stuffs I liked. My tummy was hurting like really bad. As if I was in labour , it was super hilarious in cab with shirley , jasmine and karena . I felt so constipated and in so much of pain and I was clenching onto the handgrip so tight and focusing on relaxing as if I was about to deliver and the cab was stopping at every traffic light then. Stupid shit. I kept saying "shit! shit!" through the cab ride. Super funny ! And the best part , I couldn't even laugh at the commotion I was making in the cab , cause it was hurting and yet funny. And when arrived at hotel , I made a dash for the lift and let shirley , jasmine and karena settle the cabfare and threw my purse at them. Rofl. And , when I arrived at my room , I saw rei and gale sitting outside and I was " oh my shit! you guys arrived earlier!" and I made a dash for the toilet , and I was in the toilet for good 20 minutes or so , and all my roommates abandoned me and went over to the tour guide's room for dicussion for the next day's programme. And once , I came out from toilet and changed. I went to find for my roommates , and awhile standing there , I still felt sick and I went back room , and this time , I vomitted . I felt really sick then , and then I walked over to Jasmine's room to take medicated oil from Karena , and came room and applied on my tummy and head and lay down on bed and waited for my roommates to come back. I felt much better after lying down for awhile , and one by one my roommates also gt the tummyache and rest of my friends . So supposedly , its the food we ate. Ms How came over to our room to pass Gale her pillow she bought earlier and Ms How saw some of our purchases and said it looks cute especially rei's sugarbunny stuffs. I soo in love with it , so sad I did not manage to see it when I was shopping . And bel and rei bought paul frank undies , it was so freaking cute. I did not get to see it too. And , bel shopped in espirit , I did not. sadsad.

And I couldn't fall asleep though I felt so tired and shagged. I lay in bed but not falling asleep. But managed to fall asleep eventually.

threw her kisses ;10:30 PM

Day 2 Hongkong , 31 Mar

I woke up at 5 am to have my shower . I woke up really early , so as need not rush for the toilet , and wanted to take some time to do my reflections after my shower. I had a warm shower , and soon as I sat in the bed with my journal , I heard water drippling sound , it was soft at first and slowly the dripping sound got louder. I got really scared by the sound. It was stupid scary shit , and my imaginations was running wild , and my roommates were soundly sleeping then , and I did not want to disturb them and I dismissed the thought of maybe its the toilet maintence shit , and I distracted myself by looking at the pictures taken previous day in my camera , and I was watching the view outside the balcony , and I saw the sunrise, and I managed to capture the sunrise on my official first day at Hongkong. At 6 , gale woke up for her shower and soon , the morning call came in and woke the rest up , and in no time , we were ready for our morning breakfast. I loved the waffles and maple syrup and my glass of orange juice. And rest of our friends joined in for breakfast , and JiaJia then told me she was the one showering next door , and she was responisble for the drippling water sound. Haha.

Our first destination for the day was Hongkong Open University. We arrived there pretty early and they took quite awhile to come and fetch us to their tutorial room. Upon arriving at the tutorial room , their nursing students and staffs warmly welcomed us , and we sat for brief introduction of the nursing programme in the university and gift presentation and followed by a short presentation by the nursing students. Their presentation was pretty cool , they enacted Q&A format of presentation , it was enaging and hilarious at times when they stressed on certain stuffs. And a short discussion in small groups with the nursing students , it was really good , we asked quite a fair bit of nursing related stuffs and diverted the rest of questions in regards to our HK stay , and even boys. Rofl. After which , we were toured around campus , first stop their libarary and next , the nursing education unit , labatory , video-conference room and sports hall. And followed by group picture with the staffs and nursing students.

And the next destination was Queen Elizabeth Hospital. We brought there to have our lunch in their cafetaria . It was madness to go eat in their cafetaria , I saw quite a number of people wearing masks and walking along there . It just makes it very uneasy for you to sit there for a meal , though I am nurse and its common to see masks and patients , but it wasn't worth and its a foregin place and influenza was one of the major hits in Hongkong before I arrived in HK. I felt pretty crappy by then , I felt homesick and totally shagged. I couldn't quite hold my fustrations then . I just teared and this caused my friends to be worried . I'm so sorry guys . I just felt totally not belonging to the place at the moment, and the language shit was hitting me badly then. Thank you guys for understanding , and I called back Singapore to talk to my mum. I felt much better after I heard from my mum , and my friends companying me. Thank you.

At 1400hr , we gathered for our introduction to Queen Elizabeth hospital . The presenter was really lor-soh , she was entirely giving us history and geography lessons about Hongkong and the hospital. And later , we brought on tour to the A&E dept and to their isolation ward . It was pretty scary when they said they were bringing us to their isolation ward , cos there is where all the infections are bred. Thankfully the isolation ward , bedded no patients for awhile. So it was pretty safe. We gathered for a de-brief and followed by the usual group picture session .

And the next destination , shopping at ladies street and fa yuen street. This brought much smiles and excitement to all of us. We spilt into two groups among my group of friends. And we walked the streets , tried the streetfare food and bargained along the streets , bought pretty fair bit of stuffs on the first day , shoes , bag , t-shirts and deco umbrellas. It sort of cheered up my mood after the morning . And we tak-paoed food back to hotel to have a "mini-party" in our room . We invited jiajia and amy over to our room . And then gale realized her camera was not with her when she was in the room. She was looking for it up and down. she was really worried over her camera but thankfully it was found the next day in the coach , she had left it behind. Lucky her. And amy was telling some scaryshit stuff to us in our room about some pictures some people taken the first day . It was pretty scary and we shooed not to talk about it . And after , our mini-party , I walked over to Jasmine's room as I need to pass Karena her folder , and stayed there awhile and chatted with them and Gale was there too; and saw their shopping for the day as we spilted with them during shopping. Rei and Belinda were alone in the room , freshening up and getting ready to go bed. Once we came back , they were ready to go bed , they seemed shagged that night while I was pretty awake that night. Totally the opposite the previous night. Rofl. I fell asleep soon after they slept that night too.

threw her kisses ;6:46 AM

Hongkong Day 1 , 30 March

I really love the above picture . It was taken at Victoria Habour . It captures the night skyline view of Hong Kong . I love it millions <3. align="center">

I was really excited the night before that I could hardly fall asleep . I had barely less than 2 hours of sleep before I had to wake up at 5am to get ready to leave home to the Airport , left home at 0630hr and sister was just getting ready to go school then . Mother accompanied me to the airport , whilst dad was already at the airport working the whole night. We trained down to Changi Airport and reached Airport close to 0700hr , and I called dad to ask him join for breakfast but he was busy at work . So , mum and I decided to wait for him a little while longer , and we went to sit around the reporting place , terminal 1 , row 8. I was the earliest there , I saw none of my schoolmates , and I pestered mum to take some pictures for me . She is really cute , she doesn't quite know how to take pictures and she is impatient, she expects the picture to be taken the moment she presses onto the shutter. In result , I got pretty mad at her as I wanted badly to take some pictures before flying; and I was pretty angry with my dad as he was not going to be anytime early and he finishes work at o8oohr, and thats' the time I am suppose to report. And there goes my excitement for breakfast and camwhoring session.

And soon enough , my friends arrived and the teachers. The group leader did a head count and collected our passports to get our flight tickets , and followed by a group shot with friends and a group shot with Dr Pang, she came to send us off . Immediately , after which we checked-in our lugguage and checked-in to the depature hall , and roamed around the duty-free area and headed towards our boarding gate. And , I was busy multi-smsing my friends who wished me happy bonvoyage and making some calls to close friends and soon , I was in flight. In flight , I called my dad , and spoke to him and mum. I felt rather emotional then. Like so funny , i think. I was already missing them and sister.

In flight , I was seperated from my friends , all our seatings were pretty far away. So I did not quite bother swapping seats, just sat at my own seat . I was at the aisle , third seat away from window seat. Quite a pretty view . And I was excited over the tv channels especially when I saw twilight on air . Rofl. And by then , I was getting hungry and the flight was under quite a pretty bit of tubulence and I felt really nauseated by it , and soon the food arrived. The food was excellent and I had ice-cream on flight. My friends and I had extra servings of ice-cream that we were eating as we were landing in HK. And I love the flight , apple juice . Damn shiok. And , I even explored the flight toilet during flight , just because I felt tired and uneasy of sitting , not course of any nature's call . So crap , i know. And I was standing at the aisle and talking to my friends and capturing the window view which is my friend's seat during flight and feeling the temperature of the window as the air outside was in negative figures. I just get restless after sitting too long. And my flight was less than 4 hours. LMAO.

From Blog

Landed in Hongkong , had a happy cheer in flight when landing. (: There were pretty alot of people sudddenly like an influx at the immigration counters . Soon , we cleared and collected our lugguages and waited for the teachers and some friends. Quite abit of delay there. And , once everybody collected , we were out. And we were fetched by our tour guide, Patrick from Hongkong. And we had group shoot picture taken, after which it was a mad rush to the coach as my friends wanted to sit at the back of the coach. So, we were walking in acclerating speed. lol. Haha . We beat the rest to the back seat. Yay. We began taking endless pictures in the coach , people , roads , transports , buildings , greenery and mountains. Haha. It was really fun , snapping away pictures. But something just happen to spoil my mood then , my HK tour guide asked if all could speak mandarin , all replied yes and except one , it is me definately , and the next reply from him came majority wins. F**K la! I knew it was the worst nightmare i expected , language barrier . I could understand if he had difficulty speaking english but entire switch to madarin and cantonese is really nonsense , and afterall all of us in the trip came from an english- medium school , and teachers could have done something to make things straight in the trip , rather than asking me if I'm okay . Its' total bullshit to ask me that , definately I'm not okay and secondly I dun not like imposing unto people , I expect some cultural- senstivity , afterall you are an educator. But sadly , in my case is not worth mentioning. This got me really pissed but I kept my cool as it was just day 1 there .I felt miserable there already.

From Blog

From Blog

From Blog

From Blog

From Blog

From Blog

And our first stop there , was to some shopping centre where they had factory outlet kind of stuff from nike, addidas , puma , giordano and new balance , and we were given one hour to cover the place. Not much of time there to shop. Bought my first purchase there for dad , 2 polo t-shirts and cardigan for self. Not really much of good buy , pretty steep still. And I was the last few to be back on bus ;felt pretty paiseh about it , cause everyone was waiting .

And the next stop was to the Peak tram to the Victoria Peak. The ride on the peak tram was totally a new experience , the ride was really steep , as the tram was upriding the peak . If you stood , you would fall backwards , gives that feeling. It was really chilly up the peak , and we went to Madame Tussauds , the wax figurines of the word renowed famous people. Took plenty of pictures there with the wax figurines and we went into the haunted "Scream". Pretty scary shit , I was at the back of the trail of my friends. Screamed hell lots. Pity gale ! I holded unto her like holding unto my life. Haha. I love the group picture we took there. Pretty cool. At our next location was to the Victoria Peak , the view was really breathtaking , the night view of Hongkong , and it was really cold up there , and we did silly antics of keeping ourselves warm by doing jump shots there , close to 10 jumps we did and our teacher, Ms How also joined us in our silly antics. LMAO.

From Blog

From Blog

And next stop ,was at Victoria Habour Cum Stars Avenue , watched the Symphony of lights. It was WOW. The whole WOW experience lasted 15 minutes . And it was really cold and chilly and we decided to head back to coach , we were hungry then , we waited for good 30 minutes before everyone arrived in coach.

And next stop , Regal Oriental Hotel , Kowloon. We checked in hotel . Our hotel was good , especially the room , and I snatched for the balcony bed. Haha. I liked the view of the balcony, and Belinda wanted my bed for the TV as it was the nearest. I compromised with her over the TV , i told her she could sit and rest on my bed if she wants to watch the TV. Rofl. I love my roommates , Belinda , Rei and Gale , we just so flexible and easy-going. And we were pretty shagged after arriving hotel , but we were hungry also , and the hotel services seemed steep , so we decided to drag ourselves out to get some food and head back soon.

We saw some eatery restaurant nearby hotel and decided to eat there. And other shock strike me , menu entirely in chinese . Thankfully , my dearest friends translated for me and I did not want to be a big fussy for food ;though I had in mind to try something new and authentic in HK, but decided to stick to " Hor-fun". Seriously , it tasted so good , but just the portion very big.
After dinner , we went to search for the long plug as it was a problem in our room as we had
too much of technology running on electricity, and we solved the problem that night.

I was totally shagged that night. And I had too many things running in my head then. And I felt sleep was the only solace and I slept ahead of my roommates that night , while I was still obvious to the sounds they were making through the night. But yet still , I slept through the night soundly. Goodnight.

threw her kisses ;1:03 AM

I 'm back from my HK trip like nearly a week ago. I will dedicate a blog post to my HK trip when I have done through the thousand plus pictures combined with mine and my dearest friends. And looking through all those pictures makes me , miss Hongkong already. I shall save the rest for the post on my Hongkong trip.

Hopefully, I do it soon (:

threw her kisses ;11:43 AM