I'll still believe

Hahaha. Finally the class chalet. I was so looking forward to it. It was fun in its own way . Though not everyone in the class turned up , but i guess it won't make much a difference , because those who were there , were awesome. Yeah. Sadly , no card / board games ! A chalet without games . But then we improvised with some games like " One frog , jump into the water . dum" and the number game . It was fun and the forfeit . ~lala . And the night walk in the chalet resort , smoking the area with the smoke emitted from the sparklers . And barcuquing marshmellows in one charcoal piece , which was left at 4am. Crazy . Boo`

This week , i had gone for two interviews . One was for the YMCA and the other for the Josiah Kids . I was shortlisted for the Josiah Kids but it is full-time job. So likely I won't take up the offer. And I am still waiting for the reply from YMCA. Till then , I am still working in Kumon . ~lala. I am so tired and having a bad throat.

threw her kisses ;1:25 PM

I just came home after my YMCA interview. The interview was pretty scary because part of the interview involved an hr of classroom teaching and I was assigned to teach on Emotional Intelligence issue of Happiness. And was given around 10 minutes to plan & conduct the lesson. As i entered the classroom , I was shocked , there were more than 20 kids in the classroom and they really noisy and I had to raise my voice whenever I had to get their attention . I was able to conduct the lesson but i wasn't able to complete the lesson . I just gave up when i noticed the kids were paying any attention anymore . And I was so nervous . Such a contridictory from what I was supposed to teach. Hiaz.

threw her kisses ;12:57 PM

I'm feeling so sian and tired. I am like completely drained out . I need rest man. The whole week have been out . Either meeting up with people or working. So sian. I just wish I can stay in bed and sit and rot all day long. I am just so lazy la. I dun wanna go out and so dun ask me out for sometime now. I am tired and I'm behaving like a piggy. I just can't take it anymore. Physical tiredness is killing me. I want to snuggle up in bed all day long but seems I can't till next week likely, i suppose. There is class chalet and job interviews for the YMCA on Monday and the Josaish Kids on Tues and plus working in Kumon , and church. Oh no! I can just die in exhasution man. No time at all . I feeling difficult to cope , like very stretched.

threw her kisses ;10:19 PM

I feeling rather stretched out of my comfort zone . Just when I thought that I will have some time to myself finally . I seem to be having too many commitments. That is so yucks! Boo` There is no joy .

threw her kisses ;8:51 AM

I'm feeling good. Just a overwhelming feeling of goodness. This morning , the staff from ymca called me in regards to the job. This coming monday , i will be dropping over for interview . I was really looking forward to this job . But now, I am currently working at Kumon and he will expect me to start work as soon as possible , the tentative date is 1st of dec. So i need to make some arrangements because currently I expected to work in kumon till the month of Dec. Yeah. I am really thankful for this job opportunity. I am still in the environment with kids. God is indeed gracious to me , he allows me to pursue in areas I have great interest in . If you ask me , why I want to work with kids . I love the challenge with kids. It may seem fun and all but it requires some sort of disclipline also . You can't be the oh - so -sweet everytime , you will sometimes need to be firm but yet in a loving manner . And working with kids allows you to enjoy life with them in their naive -ness . Every simple-natured life not complicated. Kids are simply joy. Yeah. I love kids.

threw her kisses ;1:09 PM

I am quite cleared now . I think I shall just let this go . I really have no appetite towards the A level education . Though I feel so unsure in letting go of it , because there is always a possibility of doing well or not also. But seriously , when I consider it . I will struggle and I will not be feeling too good about it , even in my current stay I had many regrets . So i think it will be only wise to let go and really think through over other alternatives. Yups. And I will have in faith in GOd's plan.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and be certain of what we do not see. Heb 11: 1

CONFIDENCE

threw her kisses ;7:39 PM

Today , I had gone back to school for the principal's briefing. The school had made special arrangements to repeat Pre-U 2 , but the arrangement is as follows the next yr we will complete sybullus with the current Pre -U 3 and the following year revision and registration for the GCE A level examinations in 2008. That means another 2 years . And 2008 , is the final year the sybullus is being tested , so it also means no more retakes if screwed it up. I am really unsure whether I should take up the risk . And I am not sure if I am really cut- out for this sort of education. I was struggling there and I found it difficult to cope and disclipine myself to consistently revisit my subjects thus my poor results. And I failed to see the purpose in that kind of education , which resulted in loss of appettie for it. Hiaz. I am still nt sure as being sure.

threw her kisses ;11:52 AM

Lately , I have been busy meeting up with friends lately . And there just too many outings that I was away from the com for some time. Hehehe . I will be starting work tomorrow at Kumon , Bukit Batok Branch . So far , only Kumon had only gotten back to me and she agreed to my arrangement in regards to my thursday foundation class. Thank you , God for providing a way and allowing me to work in an environment I enjoy working. Kids ! I love them. They are adorable.

Hiaz. I feeling so insecure and unsettled within. There are so many decisions I need to make and I am clueless in going about making the decision . God , I pray ask thee you will allow me to make decision wise in accordance to your will.

threw her kisses ;9:11 PM

Boo` . I am so broke now. All thanks to my sister . If only , I had not followed out to shopping with her. I ended up buying clothes . Though i need clothes . But now , I am broke. I can't go out anymore. Sob Sob. Hiaz. I so desperately need a job now . My dad isn't giving me any allowance also . Ohh... Poor me. I still gt so things planned ahead and all needs fundings. Shucks! Oh why , I din't think. I need money .

threw her kisses ;9:02 PM

The principal had called me today and even yesterday , he said he wanted to follow-up and he said he is considering the option of allowing the students to sit for the A's , but they have to start again from year 2 , if the option is made avaiable. But he isn't sure yet , he is just considering the avenues to help the students. I am also clueless and indecisive. If i want to sit for A's , I want to sit it next year. It is pretty ridulcous to spend over 6 years to sit for the A's . When people just lyke do it in 3 years and I am already in my 3rd third in MI, and I am nowhere there. I want to sit for A's just for the years spend in the MI. I do not want the 3 years of studying just to go so wasted. I am willing to go all the way out , and even my previous tutor called me today and she was shocked that I had dropped out . She offered to help me if I am really keen about sitting for my A's , especially for Maths. Hmmm... I feel so confused. I do not know if i should pursue on this or move on to other avenues like poly . But I want to complete my A level education. I do not want it to be a wasted education . But whether now is doing through school or on my own. I shall wait and pray .

threw her kisses ;4:10 PM

Hiaz. I am feeling very annoyed. The deadline is tml and noone is getting back to me with regards to the contact details for the camp . And I am suppose to tabulate the list of contacts. It is really tiring to breathe down people for information. I already sent out e-mails informing clearly what are the particulars I want and need for the tabulation , i even bolded and highlighted the details. And they can miss out on the details. Sianz. And I was kind to even some , I asked them when I saw them online and even sent out smses reminding them to check their e-mails. Any replied ? No. I do not have free messages all day long. I way exceeded my msgs and my calls are only incoming free and outgoing isn't. I hate sitting by the com , waiting. Please make things easier and have already made it simple by providing all the details in spreadsheet and hightlighting the columns. Oh dear! Why am I complaining? Ain't I suppose to be doing with joy? I'm sorry . I am not patient . I just need things to come by fast and I need to complete my task. Sighz.

threw her kisses ;10:15 PM

Earlier Maimunah , called me in regards to working at Kumon . The branch near my place needs no helpers and she has vacancy for the one in bukit batok . I actually do not mind the location. But just that my thursday is affected . I have foundation class on thursday . Somehow , if I can make arrangements with her over the thursday slot. If it is fine with her , I do not mind taking up the job. Sian. I will wait for the end of this week . And see if i can get any other jobs that I can get a hold in.

~Lala , I am quite excited about the YMCA job .

threw her kisses ;6:12 PM

I am afterall not a nice person afterall . I hold grudges for very long. Especially when you have hurt me the most. I can't believe myself , I have been holding a grudge within me so long that I din even know I was holding a grudge. It was like a total new thing to me , even now as I think back . I am wondering if the situtation was something I was supose to be hurt or it was just so petty that I felt offended easily. Hiaz. I wish I could forget the whole incident but then deep inside me i feel so inferior and lousy to the whole incident because it doesn't concern me alone but my dearest also. It makes it so difficult to let go and forgive. But it isn't that I have hatred or enmity , but just that I draw myself away from the person. I think its time to let go and forgive. Since , the issue was again brought up . The hardest but how am I going to do it , it has been years . We have already grown up . Sighz.

Oh no! A another revealation , I fought with all my friends before . I fought with my close friend over a boy that was back in primary school. In secondary school , I fought with some friends over petty issues when I couldn't accept their behaviour and for my original identity . But , I am glad that we have passed all that , and we are still friends now. Pretty close ones. Then in the pre-u insistitue , never really had a good time , full of politics. I am really thankful for friends like pammy , yappy , suzzy , theresa , sam , cgp , sheryl , windy , and even him when he was around , and the present class. They somewhat changed the whole stay to a memorable one. I will miss them alots. Hiaz . I am thinking soo much . Thanks ar . For reminding , I am not a perfect and nice. I equally ugly .

threw her kisses ;10:40 AM

I have just submitted my resume to YMCA , Human Resource Department. I am really praying about this job . As I was searching and sourcing for jobs , I came across this job and it suited my interest and I really love working with kids. And the best , I can really serve God in this job . It is not only this job that i can serve God , because we are ought to glorify God in whatever we eat or do . But the speciality of this job , it involves children ministry , an area I can grow in and use my talents . I really hope and pray that God will use me as his instrument via this job. Dear lord , I want to submit to you this job . I am really excited abt this job. I feeling so good. But , God teach me to be still and discern according to your will.

threw her kisses ;5:26 PM

I seriously have no idea what is happening. But everything you say and do , is so strange . I wish I could be there for you . I am there for you , but you do not seem to be comfortable sharing. I am okay with it . But I just want you to be fine and back to yourself. I feel troubled when I am not sure how you are feeling. I love you lots and miss you lots. Just do not think so much and ponder upon it. Let bygones be bygones , and move on. There is no point holding unto things that doesn't seem to be doing any good to you and making you feel lousy . I will be praying for you , darling. I hope the dark and lousy days will move out soon. Just brave it through. I am with you. * Hugs*

threw her kisses ;2:05 AM

Couple Monkey 1 :

one looks interested and the other way , shy.

They are now so close.. AWwww

They are in action ... AwwwwW

Sits around

Couple Monkey 2:

One looks into the other . The other has its head down. Shy

Making the move... AWwwww

In the heat ... AwwW

Peak - a - boo

Oops. They are fast and rough in action .. Awww

Stares into the eyes .. Awww

The naive look ... Awww

This is what most of the animals were doing , mating in the open . People like us stole their privacy. They were really adorable and naughty in a cute sense .

threw her kisses ;6:32 PM

I was kind of exhausted the past two days for not really updating the blog. So I have decided to take some time now to really blog in the past two days entries. On Thursday , I had gone back to school to give my support to my classmates for their oral presentation. Everyone did well for their presentation. Wee~ Finally , its’ over and done. Now, I can’t wait for the class chalet. It’s time to party. Lala~ . It was also my first Thursday foundation class and I managed to get myself to go for it . I was so anxious through the day , if I could excuse myself and go , and guess what I went for it. Amazing indeed. Thank god! I wasn’t put into a hard situation ,but I was allowed . Actually , I wasn’t allowed but I somehow forced myself the situation to favour me and work out in me to go for foundation. I’m sorry , it was so wrong.

Wee~ I went zoo today with Nad . Though I wasn’t much in the mood. I decided to go since I have promised to go with her and she had been waiting so long and it was because of me she wanted to go Zoo too. So , I went with her . By then my mood was there , it became high after meeting all the monkeys . They were really “high” and naughty. Hahaha. Stupid animals kept on showing me their sexy backs whenever I wanted to capture it. ~Lala . It was fun, taking pictures. But , we did not really have time to walk through the whole Zoo. Sob Sob . I want to go again. Most likely in late dec / early jan. So people , if you are interested . Keep the dates free. We can go together. Wee~ Oh yar! Nad treated me to lunch at this “ Forest Fare”restaurant. The ambience in the place was great and it was themed “wildlife” . It was nice in there. And there were so much of laughter , esp me with getting confused with giraffe and zebra , and getting my tongue –tied . I even created a new species – Zeeblah . Be sure to catch it when you go to the Zoo. Hahaha. It was fun though the day was kind of short. I want to go on a all zoo expedition – zoo & night safari , maybe . Anyone interested?

~lala . Yay! I saw and heard him.

I am now back from church . It feels so different to go church in late afternoon . I feel so lazy and sian because I got much time to idle in the morning. And the time is really short , coz previously my whole sat is like in the church but now I have some time to myself. It sounds great. But I gt to pray for myself. After yf , today , I shared with ep and xx , but now I am somewhat feeling lousy . I ain’t lousy about myself . But very much on the circumstances and situations I am in , when I can seem to do nothing much because I have no control and I am just part of it. Hiaz.

God , I pray and ask thee that you will make my thoughts captive and fill me in your words. I hate the feeling. I really want to feel your presence and be closer to thee.

threw her kisses ;10:01 PM

I have got so much to blog but I am tired and lazy . So I will give a quick blogging. I am glad that I mangaged to excuse myself on thursday , and attend fdn class. I was really anxious . But thank god , I managed somehow. Wee~. Today , went to the zoo with Nad. Boo` . It felt short , I want to go again , din't manage to cover the whole zoo. It was fun , though i was not really in the mood . I somehow became high after seeing the animals. I think i shall update more about it tml. I am tired and my leg seems sore, wrong footwear. Zeblah ....

threw her kisses ;10:21 PM

Hmmm... I feel like closing down my blog for good. Or making it nt accessible to anyone. I am just want to be felt alone and really want to pour my every utmost feelings . I feel so insecure when I know who is reading my blog. There are so much feelings within I can't even express. Maybe I need a professional help. I really do not know. I am seriously getting tired with people and at the same time , i get tired with myself. I need a variety . Hiaz. I am just so unsure and so lost. At times like this , i really wish I had the someone who can be by my side and listen to me rant about myself all day. But it will never be possible because no one in the right frame of mind won't want to do that and I will be really be selfish to do that. But I wish I can. Someone please show me care and concern . Its not that i do not have any. I want more in abundance. I just feel insecure and moodswings are swinging hard.

I have lose grip over everything that I hold so close to me. I am empty to be filled by YOU.

threw her kisses ;9:45 PM

Favourite Movie :
Ice age

Favourite Music:
Dreaming of you by Selena

Favourite Date :
May 8

Favourite Hangout:
Petshop , playground , supermarket

Favourite colour :
Pink

Favourite name:
wari

Favourite verse:
de choice is urs

Favourite defence :
smile and look dao

Favourite departure :
still connected via sms

Favourite tease :
" Hello , Nages!"

Favourite gift :
ice-cream

~Wee ! All the favourites ain't mine but now they are mine , because of him. He is my favourite. Period.

I miss him but I so unsure. Hiaz.

threw her kisses ;10:44 PM

I'm in foul mood.

Thank you very much.

threw her kisses ;7:47 PM

I just don't understand how things work. I do not know how I feel , maybe I am feeling jealous but I am not jealous. I just feel unfairly treated. My granddad had somewhat willed some money to my cousins and they are able to use the money now . But my granddad had not done so for myself and my sis . It seems like all my cousins have received their share and only us yet to receive. I am not asking for the money but just why the unfairness . Why can't he just give everyone at the same time to avoid this thing of unfairness? Hiaz. Its not that we are the youngest or what. I am his oldest granddaughter and my dad is his oldest son. I just do not know why the unfairness. All I ask for fairness . Afterall , we are all family . Besides , there aren't any fights within the family. So it is really difficult to figure out , why?
I know you must be wondering why i suddenly brought this issue up . All because of the education , because some of my cousins are funding their education through the money and I wished I do get mine also then I too can fund my education. But on the other hand , I rather not , because the money isn't mine and I have no right and plus I have an additional duty of accountability . The money is his and he has the right. Then , it draws the whole issue to a close. Its his and the decision is his. Yups. I will just be contented with what I have. My abba will provide for me.

threw her kisses ;4:25 PM

Yay!~ Today , I had gone out with my mum . Sister was suppose to join but she decided to go for her primary class outing. So , it was only mum and me. We firstly went parkway parade, to have our lunch . While there , having lunch , we saw Peirre Png and Andrea. They both look good together. And , i finally drank the honey milk tea. It sure tastes good. Wee~ After lunch , we walked around and finally decided nothing much there and decided to head down to Whitesands , Pasir Ris , it was so dead there. Most shops were under renovation and there weren't much to shop there also. And decided to sneak at my sis , since she was at Pasir Ris Beach. So we went to Pasir Ris Beach. Eeks. The beach is so yucks. I walked down the beach hoping to soak my legs. But then I decided not to , it was really yucks. And I had a very errie experience , I walked up to the swing to play . While , I was on the swing , the wind started blowing my fast and I was so high and I felt being pushed by someone. The feeling was scary. I had trouble to even stop the swing . I then just threw myself down from the swing. It was scary and so I joined my mother at the shelter and watched my sis for awhile and then I and my mum went over to Tampines , walked round and while there , there was a commotion . A little girl had her toe stucked in the escaltor. So everyone was watching and the scdf was trying to free the girl. It is quite impossible to think how the girl had a her toe caught in the escaltor. Little kids and their mischief. Thankfully , no serious injury. Wee~ I had a great time with my mother. But my mum was complaining that i made her walk alot. Hahaha.

Hiaz . I am now no longer feeling any excitement. Seems like noone feels the same excitement. What is the point of me feeling the excitement myself and others not feeling it much as me. I must be dumb to feel so. sighz. I hope the day comes and goes of soon.

threw her kisses ;11:10 PM

Yesterday , was the last day at G. Now, we are shifted to new place. I did not realize till today how much G meant to me. It holds my memories to me. A place , I first started off in my journey , my new life. It alone brings many memories . And can u believe it I never took any pics of the place , now i regret thinking of it. Hopefully , some of them took of pictures of the place and I can steal from them the pictures. The new place looks great. Thank god , for the new place. We were first to use the new place yesterday , for foundation class. Yay!~ And it will be the last sat class , we are shifting to thursday class. I am quite looking forward to it. Yippy!`
I am going to miss G . Thankfully , we spend our entire afternoon there and really had fun. Wee!`

threw her kisses ;2:27 PM

The pictures of Vivo City , we cam-whoring ....Wee~

threw her kisses ;10:17 PM

I am so dead beat. Yet , I do not feel like sleeping. Last night , I only slept at 2 am plus. All thanks to my dad, he din't allow me and my sis to talk to sleep . He said we were disturbing him because we were loud. Hiaz. And I can't sleep and so I was awake all night till pretty late staring at the ceiling and disturbing my sis by tickling her. I just can't sleep. Great. This morning was MT paper. I wasn't prepared for it . I am such a bum . I was lazy to study and did not feel the need. So I want to the exam hall with just some last minute revision which I read up in my journey to school. I did not manage to cover much also. But , it's alright because I have already sat for my paper last year and i had cleared it. And I am satisfied. But surprisingly , the paper seemed rather a fair paper. Just hoping for some improvement in grade though now. Hahaha. But how to right when I did not make any effort? Well.
After paper , went Vivo city with Lina. WOw .. my second time there. Its really big and i love the interacting features of the mall. Damn cool. Anyway , myself and lina cam-whored . There are plenty of pictures. I will choose some and upload into the blog. For now , I am tired and my leg aches. Oh no! There is church tomorrow and there is pom pom party. I have not picked out my clothes and I am clueless what to wear . Hmmmm. I have to accompany mum to market tommorrow to get ingredients . I need to prepare the popiah ingredients. Sheesh. I am so tired. Is there any homework for tomorrow for foundation ? I think i will go sleep and wake up early tml and look into it. Till then , Love ya people. All those having exams , jia you! And those having holidays , have fun! Gd night!

threw her kisses ;9:14 PM

threw her kisses ;2:43 PM

Hahaha... I never let her eat her ice cream in peace. I keep on disturbing her and try to take pic with her again and again. Her expressions damn cute . She enjoyed also . So I ain't a bully.

threw her kisses ;2:35 PM

~Wee... The small one had came over to my place. Today , my dad had called over his relatives and family for deepavali at my place. I was dressed since noon . But the guests arrived slightly later than usual. But it was alright . More time to touch up and relax. I was waiting for the small one, wanted to cam whore with her badly and play sparklers. Yay! She finally came. She so adorable la. The cute one .

We had a pillow fight .

threw her kisses ;7:39 AM

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

threw her kisses ;12:08 AM