I'll still believe

I feel so disppointed in my life. Nothing seems to holding any signifinace to my life. Seriously nothing! Yeah ! Nothing! I am so empty and aimless . All the hope , i have all vanished . I am so empty. I dread this feeling . No one understands me and no one comprehends me. I hate this whole feeling. People whom i expected to stay by me , all have walked out on me. I feel so lost and i really hate this life. I know i may be the one who made it come onto me. I hope you could have come to me and ask if i was fine now and i could say i am not and speak of all i wanted to say. I do noe what i even typing now ... I am just typing everything that is clouding my mind now. I even feel like slashing myself bt i dun even dare . I want the pain and to see the rush of blood. But the thought makes me faint. Really wish , i had some people with me especially at this moments. Especially you!I guess i prefer to be alone for now . I feel so disappointed with people also , people whom i trusted and respected , you had broken the trust i had in you. I dunnoe if i will never be the same. I guess i will have to keep it within myself. Sorry. I hate my life and hope it just ends. Every morning , i wake up hoping the fear just fades off bt the fear continues to haunt me down . I try my hardest to brave through the day but at the end I hurt myself the most. I really wish and hope , life will be more simple. More complex it gets , the more difficult it gets . Take me away from all this difficult times. Guess , i will have to press on .. i am at my lowest . So people out there at waiting to hit me , u can all the more strike now . I will revive myself.

Okies , srry aish for nt getting ya pressie on ya b'dae . I seriously felt bad abt it .. I was broke and cldn't save in time. I know u may compare with the other girl i bought prezzie so expensive when she isn't even my sis n i bothered to save for hers. I realize its my foolishness . I was stoopid and i realize it . It was a lesson learnt. Sometimes , we are carried away by this kinda things, we want to please people bt hurting our loved ones. I know you must be disappointed with me. I am disappointed with myself. Presents are expression of materialistic love and i love you the most , because you are my family. I love ya sister . I will try saving okies... maybe at the end of the year , i will give ya good treat .. everyday can be ya b'dae . coz you are always loved by me. I am so srry about just now , over the "bread".. srry for blowing blows at ya . I am just agitated and there are many things , i am gng through. You need not worry abt me bt i want to say I am sorry abt it . I hurt ya once againz. Srry yeah! U take care ! I also srry for saying such words to you. I want to spend my life with you and i want you to be there with me. I am sorry. I hurt ya many times bt i love ya the most. Remember , I am your sister and we spent our lives together. We fight , laugh and cry together . We are family ! Srry for hurting you! Take care and all the best for examinations!

threw her kisses ;3:29 PM