I'll still believe

I guess I going to do some random blogging . I have nothing actually in mind to blog about but simply just some details that happened in the week. This week , I was thankful for the time , I was called back to work at Kumon. The hours were long , so it means I have earned a fair bit of cash. The kids back at Kumon are terrific. I had the same old kids I used to teach them back last time. Hahahaha .. They still recognize me . So cool ah? They diligently do their work and in doubt they ask. And some , simply crap with you over their day at school and the chief instructor has to come in and tell me not to engage in their conversation. Boo! Kids conversation are the best man. They are always humourous and little naughty . Cute. I love kids and I love talking to them.

And , for the some who are wondering how is my r/s getting along. Things are going rather slow now. I have not been talking very much to him and have not really been seeing him around. I am just caught up with myself lately and indulged totally in his thoughts and supposedly he is busy with school and ministry. I have been feeling rather not too good about this also. I am missing him soo much that I rather have not him in my thoughts , that I want to call it quits ; because it is only affecting me emotionally. I can’t handle this kind of r/s when we barely talk and he is not aware of whatever shit happens to me . Even if he does , it is because I said. So what you say? I dunnoe . I won’t make any decision. But I am just hurt and I won’t say anything for now. Maybe , we need time for things to work out. Its tough. If it is going to mean nothing ,teach me to take in my stride and hlp me walk out of it stronger. I do not wish to see myself crumpling and falling because of this shit . I really wish guys will really understand how girls feel, They are supposedly to be much better than our girlfriends to catch our finest change. Maybe they are tired of doing what they are good at because we girls are really changing every minute and every second. Sorry. I hope to have some time with you and really talk things through. I rather do it now because I do not want be bothering much abt it later in my life. I also like to urge nice guys not to send wrong signals. Be friendly and nice, but draw limits because you are playing into the girls’ heart if you become too close. You are tempting. But , I quite sure things will not be working out for us for sure. There are really plenty of differences and I can anticipate us not lasting through. So I shall give it a miss and move on with my one only lover boy, whom I love and see him in you. We will be friends, though. I am fearful of falling in and breaking. I’m scared. Enough said.

Lets now , see how has my walk being so far? I need to work on my walk. My walk is sometimes drawn closer and at times drawn distant. I will have to draw myself closer and closer. I want the intimate and personal r/s. I will have to discipline myself and draw myself closer having a prayerful soul. Pray for me ! Thank you =D

Oh yeah ! Lately ,I was totally mood out and pissed off. I can’t simply stand indecisiveness and the idea of waiting. Especially, when I have no much time to spare. I was really pissed off. I wanted to walk away. Sorry , guys! For not joining you guys , I so wanted to go out and have some time with you guys but I had to leave. So sorry , guys! I guess I sucked ! Sorry! The whole mood out was in me throughout the whole week. The day just sucked . I was angry . I wish people just do not complicate things when things are already planned. We plan because we want to accommodate; not to meeting one and one’s only needs. So understand and act . I shall leave the matter . But leave me out of it in the future. I care less about it now. I hope it doesn’t affect me. I will keep silent about it.

Oh dear! I am storing up on little gifts for him. Okies.. Enough for now… Seeya ..

threw her kisses ;2:59 PM