I'll still believe

There is few more hours for the New Year 2007 . As usual I do want to take some time to reflect and record down the moments in how I have grown this year and what I was filled with this year. I am very sure this year 2006 was a very exciting year for myself. I want to really try my best to capture all the moments.

Beginning of the year of 2006 , was going back to school . In Jan , was returning back to school as a Pre- U 2 student . I felt intially quite awkward to go back to school coz most of my friends were already in their graduating year and it was part of pride thingy for me . But there wasn't much of choice , coz I wasn't really sure in where I wanted to pursue though I wanted to shift over to the Poly in the nearing months. And I wasn't very open to the courses in Poly neither. I was just hoping to go into Early Childhood Education. The new class wasn't too bad either. The class was much better than my former classes . There wasn't much of any poltics and there were strong postive vibes in the class. Except that I did not still like my teacher . I couldn't really stand his attitude and his easy -going mentality. I felt that he was ought to pratice some urgency . But somewhat I began to really not care but those things like the teacher and the class and just focus on me and those closer to me. It thus helped me going and allowed me to adapt . Though I was feeling little inferior at times. But i somewhat managed. Though there were many times I feeling down and dry but I am thankful for my family , friends and even sisters and brothers in church who helped to keep me in their prayers. Then in the month of Feb , was filled with many Goofy Gobbers Day Out and celebration. I really love the outings with the Goofy Gobbers and all the neoprint session everytime we meet. Just posing and screaming and acting cute. And I was lucky with the Goofy Gobbers , I won a Nokia 6020 while out with them. Then Mar came by , I was much dreading to turn 20 . I did not like the idea of growing older and worse fears of responsiblity that comes along with it. Then Apr , the very first time I went over to his school and met him while our school was having a match with their school. Then May , the family event , The New paper Big walk . I really enjoy those moments as a family we can participate in such a sporting event. All the cam-whoring session and the good food that follows after it. Then June , my first ever trip with Shalini , it was good and hoping that I can have another one next year too . I miss the trip sooo much and all the others in the trip also. It was awesome. Then july , the World cup fever . The Germany craze . Hahaha. I am still crazy about Germany now. I really hoping it will be Germany in 2010. They will. Besides all these , there were other big changes happening in home , my aunt and her kids moved into my house as they were waiting to purchase their new flat. There were so much of inconveniences and I did not really like the idea but somewhat I just allowed though I did express my objections to my parents but they just told me to listen to them and not interfere and be in my best behaviour. I did as I was told. It was just so restrictive in my own home for the next 2 months atleast. And mum was taken ill also. She was admitted in hospital. Then , it was the first time I felt that my whole world of comfort came crashing down and there so much of uncertainity when she was in hospital . There were so much of responsiblity , taking care of home , mum and even sis and managing school . I really thankful for all the prayers and all the visits my friends , churchmates. And a very special thanks to my grandma , who helped in the house. It was the very worse fears of growing up and shouldering such responsiblities. I am thankful that mum has recovered and returned home though her health is still isn't good. But I am glad she is back home. Those nights were really nights of nightmare. In home , without mum and only me , sis and dad. The nights were very solemn. Our usual nights are loud and noisy. I am just glad she was back home. Then , August to September was the intensive studying period for promotional examinations . It was one of the down period of time also. I was so trapped with time and was slowly being eaten by the stress monster. Full of moodswings . And many thoughts . Overwhelmed with many thoughts. Nothing seemed to be helping and friends seemed to be distant and I was also distant . And unpleasant news filled me , my friend had committed sucide . And I started feeling that I was partly the cause because she was trying to contact me but I somewhat had not being free to attend to her . I felt that maybe all she needed was someone to listen to her and I wasn't been able to be there for her. And it also triggered my emotions and thoughts. Then Oct was the most nightmare and fearsome period , the promotional results and all the uncertainity that follows. But somewhat I was strong and I started to all again be zealed with faith and the months followed by much more on happier note. I started work in Kumon , worked there for a month maybe lesser . But this time around , i wasn't much enjoying my work in Kumon , I felt very stretched with distance and the management. Then was involved in S3 camp as camp ambassdor and group leader. It was really testing because it was really about being People-centred and going all the way out beyond our own ablities. I thank God that a weak vessel like me could be used in the work of His Kingdom and following after S3 straight was EYF . This time , I was just no ordinary member but a Shephard. So as a shephard , I had to take responsibilty to gather and make sure my sheeps are fed well in regards to the EYF sessions and events. It was another challenging task to step out of our own comfort zone and preference to our conveniences and really look beyond ourselves and placing the interest of others above us. And finally , starting work in YMCA . I would be working likely another two over months in YMCA for the Year 2007 and then really look into where I am going to pursue my studies. Hence overall , this whole year was like a roller- coaster ride filled with many thrills .

The theme for the year 2006 is " Suprises with Thrills!"

I believe that the coming year is going to be another exciting year as I wait as His unfolds His Plans for me. I am truly excited. And I am very sure to make prayer to Him in " Counting me in His plans!" He has been so faithful in bringing me through this year . And I thank God for his showers of love and blessings upon me for this year 2006 and the years to come. He is the Creator and the Everlasting God to the ends of Earth. Amen.

threw her kisses ;9:15 PM