Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I'm feeling so stressed now . Flipping through all the notes makes me all jittery and nervous for the common test. Like I am so not prepared , haven't paid much attention and its like doomsday for me. I have no one to blame except for myself , like always my dad says . And guess , it would be the last laugh too . I just feel totally not prepared , like revision not done and mentally I am not even ready for a common test.

And studying aside. I have been thinking alot lately , and its making me feel even more shitty and miserable. Somehow I feel distant from the family , though I am home mostly nowdays , I just feel away from them. Dad decides to tell things to rest of the family and noone mentions to me , till someday the topic randomly pops up and its the newest thing I heard . It hurts to know the whole family knows and I am the last to hear of it . Mostly got to do with money issues . I know I am stingy to let go of my money at times but I am not greedy . I know its a small issue but somewhat I feel there isn't trust there.

And , now recently , I feel myself withdrawn away from my social circle of friends , and I am now feeling all distant from people. The feeling of distant is making feel so insecure and weak because I am alone. And the period of me being alone seems very long. Somewhat or rather , I feel I just need companion , and friends have passed. As I read in pyschology of erickson's theory of intimacy vs isolation occurs in period 20-40 years of age. I guess I am stuck in the theory.

Its retribution , i guess.


threw her kisses ;9:21 AM


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